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Divorce
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Anger, Depression and Resentment are normal in this situation.
However, times have changed since the days of, "I'll never give you a divorce." Be assured, if your spouse wants a divorce, the court will give it to him/her.
So, you can make us rich by making the process ugly (keep
reading), or you can try to be reasonably aggressive in the settlement
negotiations, work through the mourning process of the “death of a love” and
keep more of your money (and your sanity). If you and your spouse have children, you obviously have many more reasons to be amicable. Remember, your children are probably mad at both of you for getting a divorce (regardless of which one of you is at fault or initiated it). They have no voice in the process, no lawyer – thus, they have a myriad of strong emotions. Despite the unraveling of your major life foundation, your children need you to be calm and stable more than ever. No one wins in a divorce.
Even if you get more assets, alimony, and child support than you ever
dreamed possible, it will usually cost you dearly to get that result – it
will cost you money, time, emotion and perhaps your health. On the other hand, amicable does NOT mean asking for nothing
and giving your spouse everything. Amicable means working out a reasonable solution that is best
for everyone, given the situation, and lets both of you move on with your
lives. Keep in mind, if your spouse refuses to be reasonable, you may
need your attorney to “go to battle” and . . . We love battle. You may have the right to equity in the house, alimony, child support,
parenting time, joint custody, etc.
The outcome of a divorce trial is determined by how the judge applies
the case law and statutes to your particular set of facts. Given the time, expense and uncertainty of trial, as well as
the Court’s general disregard of the issue of “fault” when making equitable
distribution and support decisions, it is often not worth it to go to trial. Rather, the settlement process is one of measuring the
settlement proposals against the likelihood of obtaining your desired result
at trial. |
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